What is Marriage?

Wolfson begins this article with an extended definition of marriage. He does this to show what marriage means to people and civilization. Society says that marriage is a relationship between two people who express their love and dedication to the other each other. It is a personal commitment that is an important decision in one’s life. Marriage needs the government to approve it so it is a legal or civil institution. He is also showing how marriage gives couples access to “health care and medical decision making for your partner and your children; parenting and immigration rights; inheritance, taxation, Social Security, and other government benefits...” Wolfson explains what a married couple can do and what rights they have. One of his main points was that marriage is a choice.

He is trying to set up the background before he makes his main point about marriage for two people who are the same sex. He wants the audience to know all the benefits of being married and for what reasons people get married for. I think his explanation of marriage is pretty fair and sensible. He just talks about individuals and doesn’t specific the sex of the people so the audience can understand his main points without thinking about the sexes of the couples. Wolfson wants them to understand the big picture of marriage and see its meaning. However, I think he left out the point that some people get married so they can have kids and start a family.

Airplanes

Dr. Wade Horn compares how kids can grow up to two airplanes. One airplane always gets people to their destination safely. This is the plane that relates to how a child’s life would be like if they have two parents (father and mother). If a child has mother and father in a healthy marriage, they will have a lesser chance of being a troublemaker and their childhood would be safer without problems. This is the plane that most people would choose since it is more reliable.

The second plane gets people to their location most of the time, but “significantly less than the first”. The second plane is compared to a home that only has one parent. This type of environment is supposedly worse for a child to grow up in. They will be more inclined to be mischievous and end up in juvenile. The child could be abandoned and will not be happy. It is too risky for a kid to be raised in a single-parent environment. Horn is trying to make a point that people should not take the second plane because he believes that the more families there are that have a mother and a father, the better it is for everyone and the community.

Appearances

People judge others based on appearance. By waiting to disclose that the men are not gay, but straight, it makes a bigger impact. Its shows how brutally they can be treated just because of their sexual orientation. She wants you to see how unjust the treatment is to the people who are gay or lesbian and for the people who are perceived to be that way. It also shows how much emphasis our society places on outside appearance. If a man might be slender and wears tight clothes or leather jackets, he is presumed to be gay. As such, if a woman wears her hair short and wears loose clothes, she is assumed to be a lesbian. These prejudices are encountered daily by gays and lesbians.

I do not think the issues of antigay violence changes because people are so predisposed to judge people based on their dress and mannerisms. They judge by appearances and stereotypes. Also, people should not have a negative or violent reaction to people if they are gay or lesbian or seem to be that way. It does not matter if the person is homosexual or heterosexual, their sexual orientation should not provoke others to be violent towards them.

Extending the Context #7 on p. 383

Take a bath everyday so you stay clean and do not smell; hold your utensils like this so you act like a proper young lady; say your prayers at night so you will go to heaven; brush your teeth every morning and right before you go to bed so you won’t get cavities; put nice clothes on when you go out to dinner so you do not look like a slob; say please and thank you so you seem polite to others; treat others like you want to be treated; this is how you make your bed; this is how you set the table; this is how you clean the dishes and put them into the dishwasher; this is how you wash and fold clothes; make your bed everyday; never use profanity or cuss words in front of others; never go anywhere alone at night or walk down a dark street alone; don’t let men hustle you; go to school and do all of your work; brush your hair everyday so it isn’t a rat’s mess; this is how you pick fruit and grow a garden; this is how you clip bushes to keep a maintain yard; sit with your legs crossed.

Manliness and Sensitivity

I disagree with Mansfield assumption that manliness and sensitivity are incompatible. Men can be “manly” men by having courage and confidence, fighting for their country, and standing up for something they believe in, but they also can be sensitive by showing emotions and their feelings. Men (husbands) generally will want to show courage and will want to protect their families. However, when someone in their family is ill, they will show their sensitive side and will try to care for the sick person. They will show their concern. An example of a person who does this is my dad.

I also think manliness and sensitivity can be compatible when it comes to women. Women are in general sensitive and emotional. They show their feelings and do not care what others think. Manliness is also in women because women sometimes feel like they have to prove themselves and they stand up for themselves. In addition, women even get into fights which Mansfield said is “manly”.

The Last American Man

Gilbert believes that Eustace is the “last American Man” for several reasons. Eustace is the last man who she perceives to go out and do things that man used to do in the old days when men were first coming over to America before the advancement of technology began. She thinks that he represents something that we have lost. He has the desire to do everything himself like cook, make clothes, find food, and build a shelter. He makes his home where wherever he is traveling. He does not rely on anything but himself. Eustace also has the drive to do crazy adventures like ride horseback all the way across America (what the cowboys used to do) and to hike the Appalachian Mountains. Whenever anyone tried to imitate or try to do the things Eustace did, they failed and could not do it. Also, everyone now lives their lives in boxes, while he lives his life in circles. Society is always in buildings using computers or machines to do their work. Everything is confined and there are limits. They rely upon others to build their houses, find food, or to provide electricity so they can see at night. In Eustace’s life of circles, he is not confined. He has no limits and he does everything for himself and he is successful at it. Nowadays, most people do not have the desire to do this because they are content with their life.

Tocqueville- True Women and Real Men

Tocqueville compares the social condition of American women to that of European women. He thinks that democracy, which is a fundamental part of the American society, creates a natural division between the sexes, yet, at the same time it allows for social changes that will lead women to be seen as more equal to men, just as social changes are bringing “nearer to the same level the father and the son, and the master and the servant.” It might take awhile for American women to be more equal to men, but underlying Tocqueville’s observations is the idea that although American men and women value each other’s contribution to society equally, the man will probably still be superior and the leader.

Tocqueville admires the way American society does not try to make the sexes “not only equal, but alike” as people in Europe do, but instead creates a society where the sexes have a set division of labor with separate roles. According to Tocqueville, Americans divide the duties of the man from the women because they believe the society would work better that way. Tocqueville thinks that America is unique because it takes much care in distinctly dividing the actions of the two different sexes. The sexes have to keep pace with one another, but in “two different pathways which are always different”. For example, the women could not be politically active, leaders of a business, outwardly manage the family affairs, or perform anything that required hard labor or exertion of physical strength. However, even though American men do not want the women to do hard work or take much action, Tocqueville states that the women are respected by the men and that the men never doubt their courage. Although the women retain their feminine manners, they “sometimes show that they have hearts and minds of men”. The women appear to like having the man as head of the household as it makes them proud. Tocqueville concludes that American men and women know they perform different duties yet they value what each brings to society and they consider both sexes “as beings of equal value”. Although women are still seen as socially inferior, the American democracy has allowed women to raise their moral and intellect level to that of men.

On the other hand, Tocqueville believes that in Europe, women and men are not only equal but are seen as “alike”. They have the same duties, jobs, and rights. Although supposedly equal, the women are not fully respected and esteemed as American women are, and even though the European women have equal opportunities, they are not seen as equals. The men flatter the women and the women in turn have seductive tendencies or act “futile, feeble, and timid”. They are not as virtuous as American women and Europe does not place as much emphasis on a woman’s honor. Tocqueville concludes that American women are superior to those in Europe.


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